*Special Feature*

all about jarett. 

Jarett, an interesting species of man, who received a formal education from YouTube. He is very particular about certain things, and thus, it is proven he is of a Murakami/Vasconcellos bloodline.

Jarett refuses to let others pay for their meals and groceries, gas and treats—he is a very generous man.  He is constantly saying “sorry” for nothing.

            You wait outside a store for him, “I’m sorry,” he says.

            He comes out of the bathroom, “I’m sorry,” he says.

            You wash the dishes, “I’m sorry,” he says.

            You find out that he calls Tiffany his favorite ‘cuz,’ “I’m sorry,” he says.

            He pours too much rum in your drink, “I’m sorry,” he says.

            You blink, “I’m sorry,” he says.

           

Jarett does not apologize, however, for flatulence that shakes buildings. He will display these behaviors, then blame it on Neta. If he starts walking like a duck with a diaper, watch out!

Jarett is also a wonderful budding photographer. He is more than willing to take your picture, and after five minutes, he will snap the photo.

Jarett loves the Lego movie. ‘Everything is Awesome’ is the theme song of our trip.  Don’t get him started, because he won’t stop singing it—sober or drunk…and then you will start singing it as well.

Jarett can catch vomit from a dog’s mouth…with only two napkins. He is an intelligent man, and one day he will learn to say the right things when a girl asks him “does this look okay?”

Jarett is the kind of guy that will buy tampons in Paris for his loved ones…when he comes back with the wrong box, he will tell you, "I bought this one because it looked sporty." 

Jarett enjoyed his very first macaroon in Paris at Ladurée. This is also where he tried to ‘shush’ a homeless person asking for scraps. The poor man came up to the table, and Jarett said, “shush, shush!” Shooing him away like a fly. The homeless man harassed us some more, before saying “shush, shush,” himself, then barking like a dog. We told Jarett that a simple, “No” would suffice next time.

 In Europe, he has a 4 beer max limit before he starts singing ‘Everything is Awesome,’ and tries to face time everyone he knows. 

Jarett’s favorite German word (and only German word he knows) is Stein, which, when drunk, he pronounces SHHHTINE. Jarett can now start a wholesale stein company based on how many he bought in Germany. 

Jarett is a great navigator.  Jarett is a good navigator. However, sometimes he is so focused on following mapquest on his phone, he fails to notice cars whizzing past him. 

Although he does not drink Dos Equis, Jarett Keaholani Vasconcellos gives the most interesting man in the world a run for his money…and this is why we love him :)